if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
