sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
