So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
