Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
