its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
