I'm so fucking centered right now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
