She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
