how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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