She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
