omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize
