Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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