elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
