fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize