I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
