yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
