I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
