He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
