and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
