i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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