Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm passing your future prison.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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