Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
