She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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