I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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