so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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