You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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