Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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