You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
