We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
