5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He felt like a one man threesome
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
