I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
