Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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