i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
In America we eat man semen.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
