Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
