Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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