Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
