we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
