guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
