btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
