we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
