It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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