The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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