Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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