wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
