the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
