This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
