Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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