I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I want to fling myself into the sun
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
