HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
