Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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