It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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